It takes balls to be a woman

I have had this card, with many sweet words on the back, from my very bestie saying: #sometimesittakesballstobeawoman !

Sadly it is (still) true to keep on top of the ‘game’: being a woman.

Simply by birth woman have the power to do anything they want, but we are way to modest and to busy to keep the peace, when we want something that isn’t exacly expectred from us. Of course that is very admirable, but it will stand between the situation you want.

In most countries men decide how things are done, not always because they are skilled, but because of their attitude and men feel threatened by women.
They should feel threatened, because it is my strong belief that women can do things way much better than men ever can, without warfare or destroying our environment.
But because men still got/take the power they make women go extra miles before men acknowledge their skills. Despite that, women still get paid less than men.
Also there are religions that put men first and that women second or lower. That alone makes it crapy religions. Everybody should be equel!

And there is the sexual power that women have over men. That is probably also why men are trying to diminish women in so many ways.

I always have had the utmost respect for women. Now I know why: I’m a woman too.

Despite all of the above I want to become all woman and so the quote is in another way so appropriate for my situation too. I mean I came out of my hiding place about 15 years ago, wearing women’s clothes in a men’s body.
Very hesitant and anxious the first years, because I had never seen anyone else like me before.

Yes, people made comments, bad and good. I felt a very strong urge to continu on that road though. I developed my own style and more and people started to like that. I even got a few compliments from women over the years, saying that women could learn from my style. That was before I acknowledged to myself that I already was a woman. Now I know I am a woman in, at least in mind, I’m thinking duhh of course I get complements about my appearance! In my world woman are the natural inventors of style!

Now I’ve come to a point that I don’t need my physical balls anymore. It could be that it will take up to about two to three years before I actually can say goodbye to them though.

My Best Of 2019 Instagram Posts

hey guys,
My #bestof2019 on Instagram didn’t fit nicely in a 3×3 frame.
Therefore in order of the number of likes/views beneath.
It was a crazy year, in which I finally found my true self and spoke up about it. Also a year of full openness about it.
Take Care!

The latest on Instagram

Hey guys,

It’s been too long!

So much has happened so quickly, that I saw no time to update my blog.

The important stuff about the contessa, social media wise, takes place on Instagram now: the contessa on Instagram.

One BIGGIE is the fact I’m wearing dresses and high heels at the office since February 2018.

Here is the latest video of me (yeah I’m not wearing my wig and/or sunnies. I thought is was time to loose those as a disguise) on Instagram:

House of Byfield at Art Hearts Fashion September 11th 2017: runway show prepared and directed by me.

Hey guys!

To start at the end: the finale, because I am proud I did it!

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BTW How about that, no heels! There were a number of reasons that I’m not wearing heels at the runway. As a courtesy to our star of the show was one. And it didn’t feel save running around in heels backstage and at the end I didn’t indulge myself the time to put them on.

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In February 2016 I was in New York to assist the representative of House of Byfield, Carolina Riffi Olite, to get the fashion show on the runway of Art Hearts Fashion. It was an exciting time. I was too flabbergasted to digest the whole experience in the few days I was there. So I’ve posted hardly anything in that period of time. I was determined to do it better next time.

This next time I created more or less myself. I arranged a stay of two weeks during Fashion Week in New York in September, way ahead when the invitation from Art Hearts Fashion (AHF) came to the office of House of Byfield, to do a fashion show on September 11th. Unfortunately there was no experienced representative available. If I wanted to do the show on my own please? My first reaction was: ‘cancel the whole show’. But the president/head designer/mastermind and name giver, Carmichael A. Byfield took no for an answer. He assured me I was experienced enough (I assisted on two earlier occasions: the one in February 2016 in New York and another one in July 2017 in Amsterdam) and there would be sufficient assistants available, provided by the organization of AHF. So on September 2nd I was on my way to JFK International Airport in New York with an extra suitcase with all the designs for the show!

So I had the designs with me, but no models to put it on. I had already three names of lovely ladies from Carmichael who were willing to walk for House of Byfield. I needed four more female models and five male models. So on Tuesday I went to the first model casting, which was arranged by the organization of AHF. I had no clue how to select the models since I was uncertain about the sizes of the designs (yes I asked the designer) and I saw models in all size. Halfway the casting I just asked some of the models just to try on some of the designs. At the end of the casting I had a nice list with the models I needed. On Wednesday was the second and last model casting. On that day the designers were supposed to deliver their final list to the organization of AHF. The casting wasn’t even started jet and I was called to the organization. To my surprise they explained to me I didn’t have to present my final list of models, because they would take care of the models I needed. So I was dismissed so to speak haha.

Me being there however wasn’t a total waist. I met Madeline Stuart (and her mom/manager Rosanne) there. Madeline was one of the ladies on my list whom would walk for House of Byfield for sure. In the designer package was an option, given by the organization , to ask for a Special Model Brand Ambassador. My designer had chosen for Celebrity Supermodel Madeline Stuart. Madeline is the first professional model with Down syndrome. Therefore she is a powerful advocate for inclusiveness and diversity in modelling. Besides that she is dancer, actor and role model. Since February 12th 2017 she officially added ‘clothing designer’ to her resume, by launching the clothing label 21ReasonsWhy. At that day we exchanged contact information to arranged a fitting at my hotel later that week.

In the next days before the runway show I had fittings with ‘my’ models, Greta Rupeika, Gabrielle Kaczkurkin and starting off with Madeline. That meeting had a fun twist. At the meeting was not only Madeline and her mom Rosanne present, but also a cameraman. They were in the middle of the preparation of a documentary about the life of Madeline. At least I was properly dressed. Even Rosanne told me the dress suited me very well. It was the Karen Millen dress I also wore to the runway show of David Topaz at Style Fashion Week that same day.

The day of the House of Byfield runway show was, to be expected, very chaotic at the end. Thanks to the cooperation of the models and another Dutch cloting designer, Odair Pereira, we’ve got the show on the runway.





Red Carpet with all the models


Red Carpet with ‘my’ models: Gabriella Kaczkurkin (l) Greta Rupeika (r)


The star of the show: Madeline Stewart






The video of the fashion show …



… the stars on the runway, one by one …




Photo:  WORLD FASHION MEDIA NEWS; model Michal


Photo:  WORLD FASHION MEDIA NEWS; model Greta Rupeika




Photo:  WORLD FASHION MEDIA NEWS; model Gabrielle Kaczkurkin


Photo:  WORLD FASHION MEDIA NEWS; model Justyna Olivia Ruszczyk




Photo:  WORLD FASHION MEDIA NEWS: model Jason Christopher Peters






Photo:  WORLD FASHION MEDIA NEWS; Model Aleksander Ashafi


Photo:  WORLD FASHION MEDIA NEWS; model Kristen Walters

the finale …




Generated by IJG JPEG Library



The world is my runway: Milano July 2017


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So much has happens in my life since April concerning my cross-dressing way of life, that I’m completely backed up. So in random order I’ll post what has happened …

This post is about my super awesome trip to Milano in July.
How do I do that: walking in high heels that well?

People still ask me how I can walk in heels that well. For me is that kind of awkward Continue reading

The latest at my Insta

Hey guys,

since a couple of years now I keep a Instagram account. At first I had no idea what to do with it and nowadays I see it as my inspirational channel for dresses, heels, jewelry, nail polish and more. Here are my latest posts:

Knipsel insta4Knipsel insta1Knipsel insta2Knipsel insta5

Thanks for stopping by and maybe I see you soon @contessaFrancescaDiParma!

Patterned tights in red and outing crossdressing at work (again)


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In earlier posts I’ve mentioned that I have other hobbies too, like woodworking and DIY project in our home. We have been pushing furniture around and because of that I had to take the time to design and make a new cabinet and a new banister at the attic. Although this is my style blog, but maybe for once I do a post of the bigger DIY projects I’ve been designed and build.

Outing crossdressing at work

On the subject of my crossdressing it has been an exciting time for me too. For instance on the job. At my work we have a newsletter, Continue reading

Four years on the blog YEAHHHH!

Hey guys,

These past few months were quite crazy for me. Totally forgot to post the video I made because I’m four years on the blog. BTW this video wasn’t intentionally made for this occasion. I had everything with me, except my camera haha! But I had my phone with me and a selfie device that fitted on my tripot, so I started the music and ACTION …


Thanks for your visit and take care!

with love, Francesca.

Office Chic


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The problem with online shopping is that there is sooooooo much to choose from, cause The World is at your feet. The upside is that many of the fun items are only available online and/or you can avoid travelling many many miles by bike, car, train, boat or plane, before you found the right shop for your fun shopping experience. Another upside of online shopping is that you can do your shopping in your nighty in a lazy chair and a glass of Continue reading

Amsterdam Characters x The Hoxton


On January 7th there was an event, as part of the series The Resolution Game at The Hoxton. There’s one game many of you play every year: where we tell ourselves we’re going to change all of our unhealthy habits, finally make that work-move we’ve been dreaming about and buy that bag we’ve been saving up for. One of your resolutions could be to get to know every nook and cranny of Amsterdam and what better way to do that, than Continue reading